It’s the question that seems to get louder than ever in today’s conversations, from WhatsApp groups to Instagram comments. We’re told that feminism used to be noble, but now it’s become “toxic”, “man-hating”, or “unnecessary”. That women today don’t want equality but power, and they’ll lie or manipulate to get it.

But I didn’t grow up in a world where feminism was some social trend for popularity. I grew up quietly reading books, blogs and posts: by real women, who weren’t trying to manipulate anyone, but were just trying to deal with their experiences. They were women who felt like they had been treated unfairly, been boxed into expectations, suffered abuse, and had people make them feel blamed, dismissed, or silenced for it. Their writing didn’t teach me to fight men. It taught me to recognise patterns which are common all over the world.

Feminism, in its real form, isn’t about superiority – it’s about awareness. And awareness, once it enters your life, doesn’t leave quietly. Once you start noticing how often women are objectified, mistreated or made to apologise for existing, you can’t unsee that women are taught to internalise blame, accept society’s idea of gender roles, and stay silent.

But what about all the false cases?

These days, such conversations quickly turn into arguments about false accusations or divorce alimony. People argue that women are misusing feminism to file false cases, damage reputations, cheat men out of money in divorce, and escape accountability.

Let’s acknowledge a truth: false cases do exist. Any system can be misused. But it is also a fact that far more real cases go unheard, unreported, or disbelieved. For every woman who files a false case, there are hundreds who stay silent because they know justice won’t be served – or worse, that speaking out will bring shame, not support. And while some women may not need divorce alimony, there are far more cases where women do have genuine reasons, like having been unable to work or be financially independent due to marriage.

Focusing only on a few problematic cases distorts the bigger picture. When we center the conversation around a minority of misuses, we ignore the majority who still suffer in silence.

For every fake complaint, there are countless real ones that never see the light:

Real domestic violence dismissed as “family matters”. Severe injuries or even threats to life ignored.

Women forced to quit jobs to ‘focus on the household and children’.

Working women having to balance their jobs with the full load of housework alone.

Girls not given the chance to be educated and made to learn housework instead.

Dowry issues, child marriage, human trafficking, abortion law debates.

Rape of women or even little girls normalised because “boys will be boys” and questions like “what was she wearing?”

We do not live in a country where women have too much protection. We live in a society where most women still think twice before stepping out alone or speaking out when they are unsafe in their own home, and often decide it’s safer to stay silent.

The raw honesty of feminist writers gives women context for their anger, and remind us that gendered power is more than individual behavior – it’s about structures that benefit one and punish another. These ideas help us draw boundaries, spot manipulation, and to question: Are the expectations placed on women really fair?

And often the answer is ‘No’.

Because the world I live in still tries to keep women small. And if asking for fairness, the right to be treated as human, or calling out injustice/power imbalances means feminism has gone too far, then maybe it hasn’t gone far enough.