I recently got the terrible news that someone I knew committed suicide.

As is common, most people are saying things like “If only she had gone out to meet friends and talked about her problems…”

If I had a rupee for each time someone has said to me that I should “just go out and meet people” and “just be happy”, I’d be a millionaire. It’s as if people think this is the ultimate remedy for any mental health issue. Sure, it can help to meet people, but let’s not pretend it’s the all-time-cure for deeper issues.

I feel like people who have never experienced depression are quick to believe that the person is just sad or lonely, or hasn’t gone out or met others enough. But people don’t know whether, or how much, the person may have already tried those things. Or that their mental health may not be allowing them to do those things anymore.

My depression has probably lasted several years because of not getting the right help at the right time. Because most people give such generic suggestions and refuse to acknowledge depression as a real problem, the person struggles to find any support or help when it is needed.

Maybe it’s not about just meeting a large number of people, but rather about meeting the right ones. Quality over quantity. And often, the person doesn’t find those right people who would truly listen, understand and support the person to get better.

Medical help can be necessary in some cases as well, but the same problem applies there – the right therapist or doctor may be hard to find, especially in India. And in the face of unhelpful people everywhere, the person may reach the point of no return.

I wish the environment here and everywhere in the world someday changes and the quick suggestion to “just go out and meet people” is replaced with something real and helpful.